Thinking Divorce Might Be the Only Option Left?

I know that feeling. I’ve been there. And after years of working with couples whose marriages are on the brink, I’ve come to understand something most people don’t say out loud: it takes courage to stay, and it takes courage to walk away. Neither path is easy. When couples sit across from me, I often ask a hard but honest question: What would it actually take for this to work? Not wishful thinking. Not surface-level change. Real change. And just as importantly, how much of that work belongs to you?

It’s human to focus on where your partner has dropped the ball. To replay the moments that hurt. To build a case for why your reactions make sense. But when two people come into couples therapy, the work is rarely about fixing one person. The relationship itself becomes the client. The patterns, the cycles, the ways you protect yourselves from pain while accidentally hurting each other in the process.

Many of the couples I work with arrive to my therapy room exhausted. You may love each other deeply, yet feel stuck in one painful loop after another. Maybe you feel unheard, unseen, or unappreciated. Maybe communication has broken down so badly that even small conversations feel loaded. It’s common to wonder, Can this relationship even be saved? Doubt makes sense when you’ve tried everything you know how to try and nothing has worked.

Here’s what I’ve learned as both a couples therapist and an interpersonal conflict researcher: with the right intervention—and a shared willingness to do the work—change is possible. Not surface change. Not temporary peace. I’m talking about real, lasting change. But that change requires wanting the relationship more than you want out. It requires deciding that growth, accountability, and vulnerability are worth the discomfort they bring. Couples who are on the brink don’t need just any therapy. This is a pivotal moment in their life. They need a specialist who understands high-conflict dynamics, attachment injuries, grief, betrayal, and the slow erosion that happens when couples stop feeling emotionally safe with one another.

A Little About My Work as a High Conflict Couples Therapist

In my work, I integrate approaches from conflict resolution, marriage and family therapy, communication theory, and mediation. My advanced training includes Emotionally Focused Therapy (Core Skills), the Gottman Method, Solution-Focused Therapy, Grief Therapy, and Domestic Mediation. Each modality, approach, or intervention serves a purpose, but the heart of the work is helping couples interrupt destructive cycles and rebuild emotional safety.

My approach is directive yet warm. From the very first session, we unpack why you’re here—not just the presenting issue, but the deeper story beneath it. I model the exact skills I want you to learn in real time. I create a space that is safe, structured, and nonjudgmental, where both of you are seen and heard. I stay curious about your experiences and validate the pain you’ve been carrying, often silently, for far too long.

I also believe therapy should be active. You won’t just talk about change—you’ll practice it. Together, we work through old wounds, challenge long-standing patterns, and build practical skills that help you move toward the relationship you want. Sessions may feel hopeful one week and heavy the next. I tell my clients upfront that this is normal. We honor progress not by perfection, but by showing up, staying engaged, and committing to the process.

The deepest growth doesn’t happen only in the therapy room. It happens when you begin to offer one another safety again. When you lean into vulnerability instead of retreating. When you choose connection, even when it feels risky. That’s where real transformation takes root.

If your marriage is on the brink and you’re wondering whether to stay or go, you don’t have to navigate that decision alone. Schedule a consultation and let’s explore what’s possible. 

About the Author

Sileta Bell is a Dallas, Texas–based Couples Therapist and Domestic Mediator who works with couples navigating high-conflict relationships, separation, and repair. She is an interpersonal conflict PhD researcher studying marital interventions, post-divorce conflict, and the long-term implications for co-parents. In her spare time, Sileta works with acrylic paints, writes short stories, and hosts the Marriage Daily Podcast.